Why do people hate NFTs?

Culture Wars, blockchain and the new rift that might divide us for the next three decades

This is an essay version of the latest episode of Politics Politics Politics. If you’d like to hear me read this as well as hear the voices of Tom Merritt (Daily Tech News Show) and Andrew Heaton (The Political Orphanage) then please head here.

People hate NFTs.

Like really hate them.

I believe the visceral reaction is deeper than surface level, I believe it is primal. Maybe the most primal rift we have in modern culture. One that has gone dormant for decades… the battle between the jock and the nerd.

What’s more, there is only a matter of time before this is exploited by politicians, brands and pundits.

But let’s start here…

What is a culture war?

We use it flippantly. I use it all the time. Normally to describe a fight about a subjective opinion inflamed on party lines. I don’t mean that to be political parties, but often it’s that too.

Should abortion be legal?

Are musicians making my kids worse by cursing too much?

Is God real?

All of these questions fill television blocks, sell books and launch careers. They are an endless fascination because our opinions of these topics are often very, very personal. In fact, the more philosophical among us have to deliberately attempt to remove our visceral attachment to even analyze the arguments themselves.

Those are the questions. But what really makes these special, what elevates an incident into a war... is the head count. So many people have nearly identical belief structures that these questions provoke not just a soldier, but an army.

It’s the reason politicians staple themselves to these issues. To demonstrate that they are just like you.

So let’s take that example. Colin Kaepernick, at that point a back up quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers starts a national conversation because he’s kneeling during the national anthem. This becomes an immediate culture war issue and one the transfers cleanly into the political realm.

It was enough to fill the airwaves with dueling takes. “He is ruining America!” “He is saving America’s soul!” Often from folks like the then-President of the United States or then-Texas senatorial candidate Beto O’Rourke.

By the way, Beto said that despite the fact that he was running in Texas where patriotism and football are essentially state dogma.

One side looked at it as protest for an aggrieved population. The other saw it as disrespect for the both a nation and the people who protect it. Boom! Ratings. Books. A Netflix series. And votes. Well, not enough votes for Beto, he lost. Then again, Trump lost his next election too. Still... connect on the culture war and activate the armies. You can’t miss.

You have to know where the armies are. What secret fault lines we stand on. What unites us and what divides us. Then come up with an issue that splits the room.

Which brings me to NFTs

I’ve been fascinated by NFTs. Well, not the thing. But rather the emerging argument about them. And specifically who is arguing on either side. It might seem small now, just like a backup quarterback’s opinion, but I believe the line in the sand being drawn on this might be a redefinition of a fault line which was scrambled beyond recognition over the past 20 years.

Something that cuts across race and class. Age and gender.

What I believe we are seeing before our very eyes is the re codifying of an age old war that’s been used in every facet of our culture: Jocks vs. Nerds.

Technology used to be the absolute definition of a nerd. It had a difficult learning curve and the internet gave birth to communities that transcended the greatest gift the jocks ever had... the reality of a physical social hierarchy. With the internet, nerds could find other nerds and talk EXCLUSIVELY about what they wanted without fear of judgement. And if they were judged or bullied they could log off or join another community. No longer would their interests be so influential in reputation, getting a job or finding a mate.

But then, technology became easier. Smart phones, apps and cellular data made the learning curve nearly obsolete. My jock-ass friends that used to say “beep boop beep boop” whenever I talked about making a living on the internet now play fantasy football, smash babes on Tinder and stream UFC fights on ESPN+.

The paradigm as we knew it died.

The internet leveled everything. There’s a lot of stuff you can point to. I remember the first time I found Deadspin.com during the glorious Aughts boom of the blogosphere. All of a sudden all of the nerd impusles I had about sports were served. Numbers mattered, toxic win at all costs attidutes were shunned, dull meathead takes dismantled. Nerds now run sports largely because they were right. The games feel different, some changes good and some bad. Some of the most popular personalities on ESPN (the worldwide leader in sports) are unapologetic nerds like Pablo Torre and Mina Kimes.

This is something many jocks took offense to. Want proof, look at the social media mentions of Pablo Torre and Mina Kimes.

Similarly, nerd culture became mainstream. Jocks love the frivolity and action of Marvel movies. They have unparralled access to the interests they like as well including a new place where they could show off the hard work it takes to stay in top shape. True story, there was a story that came out a few years ago investigating why NBA teams playing home games didn’t have the same advantage they used to. Were refs being less intimidated by crowds? Medical technology? Nope, the biggest reason this article found? Because NBA players could have sex easier.

A NBA player in the 90s would have to land, go to the club or bar and hope to impress women with their celebrity. Not so in the age of Instagram and Tinder... Now they can post on the flight to the visiting town that they are about to land, wait for the comments section to fill up with self-selecting women who are more than likely down for whatever and then DM their way to a hook up at the hotel. The time saved means more sleep which leads to more accurate passing, shooting and scoring. In more ways than one.

The definition of a nerd was gone. Something the nerds didn’t like.

Back to the NFT debate. Because the people in my social circle who have complained about them the most are OLD GROWTH internet people. Folks that used to love the endless cornucopia of the interesting / frivolous / speculative gifts the worldwide community came up with.

Social media, gifs, webcomics, videos, apps that only allowed you to send the message Yo to a friend.

For real, that was an app.

We used to LOVE that stuff. Sure some of it was insanely stupid. But none of us wanted the conveyor belt to stop humming.

Until, it seems… now.

But why?

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So WHY are NFTs different? Why are they an evil Ponzi scheme instead of just another dumb thing the internet gave us?

Let’s think about the jock archetype: impulsive, aggressive, covetous of privilege, eager to create a community based on exclusion.

The nerd archetype is the diametric opposite: contemplative, reserved, constantly aware of hierarchy and seeking of a community that will love them for them.

An antropologist smarter than me could probably track these traits back to things like hunter gatherers vs. nutrurers or healers. A shock jock dumber than me could boil them down to masculine and feminine traits.

The oldest line in the sand on this, so much so that it gave birth to the nomenclature, is obviously athletics. Something that requires all of the jock traits and punishes the nerd traits. But the internet crushed that as it made it okay to appreciate sports from a nerd perspecitve with analytics and snark. It also made it cool for for jocks to enjoy the art treasured by nerds like comic book lore and anime.

Without the traditional fault line, this dynamic has been in the wilderness.

Until the blockchain.

Think about the words used to describe people, usually men, who obsess about crypto: Bros.

The people that revere NFTs pride themselves on acting fast, buying these NFTs because they will be worthwhile in the long run just like aggression and discipline are building blocks for a fulfilled life. This has led to a community that gets it and looks down on those who don’t as being either cowardly or foolish. Snooze you loose, nerd.

The fortune favors the bold approach is the central thesis of a commercial for Crypto.com narrated by Matt Damon.

“But at what cost?” yell the nerds!

One of the biggest criticism of any blockchain tech is the environment. The power needed to mint the coins comes from somewhere and NFTs are purchased with these coins.

The abuse of privilege is apparent. Galling even!

How can these bros not see this? Is buying a Bored Ape NFT worth the continued warming of the planet? Will the Jimmy Butler Top Shot keep you dry when the Atlantic ocean claims South Beach due to melted ice caps?

And beyond that, WILL these things be worth anything? Dubious. The nerds will point to various other bubbles like Dutch Tulips or Beanie Babies. This is CLASSIC jock behavior: pouring themselves into flickering pursuits that will eventually leave them LESS fulfilled. Turns out looking before you leap is a pretty good trait after all.

I don’t think NFTs are going to be a topic at the next presidential debate. These fault lines are not mature enough to register on that level. But it’s coming. In the same way that Sean Hannity used to signal his everyman-ness by tossing a football to his producers off camera... we will eventually see new signifiers with his replacements.

A simple issue to awaken a common cause.

Something that divides the room.

A culture war on the blockchain.

This is an essay version of the latest episode of Politics Politics Politics. If you’d like to hear me read this as well as hear the voices of Tom Merritt (Daily Tech News Show) and Andrew Heaton (The Political Orphanage) then please head here.